Calamity's Secret Clubhouse

I was surfing the net today looking for inspirational ideas to create some new blogs posts because I realized that my blog was really lame. I rated it a 10,000 on the Calamity Index so I must reinvent it somehow to maintain my standards which are probably lower than Tiger Woods current website.


I’m flyin’ blind here so you may have to develop a sense of patience and understanding, compassion, and a profound interest in the absurd. With that caveat inked, I would like to begin…

First, I’m ditching that stupid Factoid thing at the end of my posts and the truly banal Quote of the Day. If I have to start by shaving off lame that’s the baby that is thrown out with the bath water STAT.

I’d like to add more photos but most of the ones I’ve ever used before were stolen I guess so I can’t do that anymore otherwise some big corporation would sue me for all the money I have… Oh my, I need to stop here and take a muscle relaxer as I’m buckled over from laughter and getting all cramped up…

Now that was a funny line but you’re not laughing and I'm a co-dependent People Pleaser so Onward I Push.

I’ll begin by telling you a Classified Secret from Calamity’s Secret Clubhouse Think Tank. Naturally, you will have only a rudimentary idea of some of the topics discussed but that’s how secrets work. What is disseminated to the general population is for “their eyes only” and not the “Insiders” who really know what’s going on. Kinda like the news you read every day and the politics you hear about, just fluff. The economy isn’t but that’s another known Secret.

Secret #1 Under the “Did You Know” File

Osama bin Laden did declare Jihad but only on the West Coast of America where he had Tupac killed. To retaliate America tired killing the infamous and notorious Saddam Hussein but the message got decoded wrong and they ended up killing the Notorious BIG (Biggy Small)

Then Biggy’s crew got mad after being sad and sent word out to excommunicate Barry Manilow, terminate the Governor, and eliminate the tree huggers. Like I said, they were mad, so they went on a Saturday Night Fright Night with AK47's and some 40’s. The gangs picked lots of fights all across America killing off America’s BFF (not Mexico) – the American Indians.

When most of all the Indians were hit, the few that were left opened some casinos and liquor stores the size of Reservations and that’s when the Indians got their Super Powers, meaning: They didn’t have to pay taxes. The End.