Original Lactaid Containers

Without saying the word breast I don’t know how else to describe them so I’ll just allude to them as the Original Milk containers. 

Recently, I finally got a Smash-o-gram on the twins. I seem to be doing things contrary to how the Government says I should do things. I waited 5 years THEN got my mammogram. Five years ago the Government was suggesting that I get one every year but I said NO! I hate it when they tell me when I should and shouldn’t do stuff. So now The Federal Taskforce (Kevorkian must be a member, I doubt if any women are on it) are suggesting [mandating] that I wait five years then get one. I couldn’t run out fast enough to get it done.

This is the same Task Force that changed their minds and said that tests for pap smears and prostate cancer didn’t seem to be effective and that a high fiber diet doesn’t do anything to prevent cancer. So now they’re saying women don’t need to bother with smash-o-grams or even self-examinations.

It’s like you really can’t believe anything the Government says anymore. After all, eggs were once bad for us to eat but now tests say they don’t raise cholesterol levels. It’s the government that ends up with eggs on their faces. [they look so much more desirable that way]

Well good. Now they’ve freed up my daily to-do list. Maybe I’ll make time now to take up the new Chinese dialect “Learning to speak in American dollars”. Next they’ll say that reading is bad for your skin, or flossing should only be done at the beach. Can’t they just commit to making sense or just being consistent? All this news makes me think that doctors might be the wrong people involved in the breast exam issue. The task force will probably suggest that young perky women not let anyone near their breasts unless the plan is to have sex. Preferably with a politician.

Remember the old food pyramid? That went out the window a few years ago too. See what I mean here? We may be headed back to wearing garlic around our necks and saving leeches in bottle jars for emergencies.

Instead of government bureaucrats forcing insurance companies to cut back such services they should mandate that insurance companies disallow people from even visiting a hospital unless absolutely necessary. Hospitals are the FIRST place to go if you want to get seriously sick. It’s almost more dangerous hanging around a hospital than calling yourself an Honest Politician.

Back to my boob study. They did find an Asymetrical Nodularity on my left juice container positioned at 3 o’clock. But the report said to come back in six months for another squeezolgy test. I wonder if they will be illegal by then.  

Quote of the Day:  In politics, the keywords are Trust and Honesty.  Oh wait. This just in:  They changed the keywords to Greed and Self-Interest.  (my unbiased opinion) [actually that's an oxymoron.]

Interesting factoid:  Here's an Anagram for you.  Take the letters in Election Results and you can spell Lies, Let's Recount!