Calamity Jane's Adversion to the H1N1 Shot (all shots)

I. Hate. Shots!  

Don't think my body likes them and my brain hates them, but my imagination goes wild with them.  I read too many murder mysteries.   When someone mentions that I have to have a shot I'm like a cat that can go from sleeping peacefully to bolting out the door at the bark of a dog.  The dogs name is Shot. 

Which brings me to sharing with you that I have heel spurs on both heels of my feet that give me great ache and pain depending on how long I stand or walk or basically, how long I'm on my feet.  If the answer to that measure is a lot then the pain level is equal by 5pm every day.  I took it upon myself to see if there was some way around this foot-draggin problem so I went to see a podiatrist. 

He was a nice enough guy I guess.  Basic generic Doc in a lab coat.  The night before I had been making these severed finger cookies for a Halloween Party so I had red food dye all over my fingers that wouldn't come off around the cuticles and fingertips too well.  I was also reading the book Scarpeta by Patricia Cornwell which has a silver cover with bullit shots through it and blood dripping down it.  So when the Doc came in I put the book in my lap to begin the analysis of the feet.  As he was checking he looked up at me and gasped saying "you're bleeding!"  I was pretty surpised at that so I said where? and he said "your hands". After looking at them I began to laugh telling him I was making severed finger cookies the night before... blah, blah, blah.  He looked at me and then went back to the investigation of my heels.  I was thinking to myself that NO ONE here in Florida has a sense of humor.  They take every little thing like you say.  I really miss Californians who have learned to laugh even when they get the Terminator for Governor.

After several moments of pushing and prodding he started to fill up a needle with a cocktail of 3 different drugs.  I calmly asked what he was doing and he said he was going to give me a shot in each foot.  I blanched, fought back my cat like reflex to bolt, and asked if it would hurt?  He then showed me the summation of Floridian humor by replying "It won't hurt me a bit."   

In return, I passed on a new lesson in CA humor by telling him that if it did hurt I was sure he would feel it!  We shared that glance known to Gladiators before facing the lions.  They just don't get humor here.

Well, the shot did hurt.  In fact, I thought I was going to die right on that chair.  I am certain that as my face grew as red as my fingers he got alarmed, then when I suddenly grabbed my purse off the floor and started digging through it vigorously  maniacally, he stuttered out "what are you looking for?" I could barely breath (he was also reminding me to do just that while calling the nurse to get me a cold compress) so I couldn't talk very good without breath and just popped out my little Mona Lisa fan from Italy that my dearest Cousin Guy got me and I said "my fan." 

I was too agitated hyperventilating to figure out that I think he reconsidered the severed finger thing and blood on the book and my earlier comment and probably thought I was reaching for a gun or machete to educate him on pain. 

On a plus note, I believe my right foot had a spontaneous healing from the fear that it too would recieve a shot.  Doc agreed that we wouldn't mess with the right foot. 

Quote of the Day:  We're young only once, but with humor, we can be immature forever.  Art Gliner.

Interesting factoid:  The telephone has been one of the most profitable inventions in the history of the United States.  But you don't have to call me, just leave a comment on the blog.  It's easier.

New Blog, New Name, Let's Roll!

I'm hitting up the blogging bidniss again.  I understand that if I don't blog [write] I tip and tilt like a cheap arcade game pin-ball machine. 

I moved from California all the way here to Florida this summer and I'm adjusting to many things.  I'm working as a temp for agencies when I can get work, I'm working through the County Healthcare processess to get my health looked at, I'm living with my childhood buddy/friend/familymember Gloria and her sweet little cat named NiNi. (The cat doesn't know it but I've been calling her Meany.)  She's not mean, but I am a little bit so I guess that's why I do that.  I also call her NiNi-Banini and neither of us knows what that means.  Here's a photo of the little fuzz ball.  She's like Little Queen Nefertit resting on the handmade carpet I brought back from Egypt 5 years ago.  I love them both. 

Now that it's November here outside the Tampa area the weather has gotten more like Fall instead of Living Hell Hot.  Now the temperatures hover around 80.  Brrrr, so fall-like.  I moved here at the worst possible time in Mid-June.  I figure if I can live through the summer here then... heck, I forget what.  Darn heat stroked daime bramage. 

I never drove so far in my whole life and I never will again (I hope).  The only thing that made it less daunting was that my dearest ever best cousin Guy drove with me from Las Vegas to Tampa.  Sometimes we were laughing so hard that we couldn't see where we were going from the tears.  That 5 day trip will be with me forever.  Guy is so funny, talented, clever, intelligent, an amazing incredible artist and did I mention funny? 

He loves dinosaurs so we stopped at the big HUGE Dino Museum outside of Tucumcari, New Mexico for the thrill of seeing old bones glued together, and true to our 'form' I snapped a candid photo of Guy running away from a threatening beast of bones, the Meat-a-Saurus.  He was saved by my flash as it blinded the beast.  WTF am I saying here?!   Anyway, we had fun.

So this is how I'm going to fill my days while I work at getting work, complain about this and that and generally try to amuse myself.  I hope you come back often and enjoy your visits with me.