After months and months of sending out my resume to endless lists of people, companies and places I'd never heard of (or heard from) I got to thinking of a job that I wouldn't submit my resume to no matter the dire calamities I face. Sometimes the only way to know what you DO want, is to know best what you DON'T want. So here is an online ad description I thought of while staring at the carpet for hours on end.
Assistant Grim Reaper : We currently have an opening for a few good "escorts to the afterlife party". Looking for those with a killer personality. Someone who can do whatever it takes to get the job done, with or without soul. Black hooded uniform (one size fits all) and scythe provided (guaranteed not made in China so no chance of toxic chemical transfers). No previous customer service skills needed and having no sense of humor is a plus. Looking for hardworking individuals who know how to reap what they sow. Brief social encounters necessary and all leads provided. Benefits include free hot meals in our world famous Hell's Kitchen, medical and dental, 401K and use of the company hearse.
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